About 20 Good Summers Left

"You have 20 Good Summers left, how do you want to spend them?"

This simple question turned my life upside down (in a good way) 2 years ago. My dear friend Eric was planning his retirement. A lifetime traveler  Eric was pushing me to rethink my plans (or lack of) so that I could reframe my life for the better.    I yearned to break free and travel with Eric, but I did not know how to get started changing my life. I had to share this with my twin sister, Regan, She and I had very different lives, but we are close and share the same values. Together we started on a journey of recreating our lives. 

Eric’s question shattered my current way of thinking. It made me think outside of the box- how did I want my life to look? I knew that life was short and his words came at the time we lost both of our parents.  This thought exercise quickly became an obsession. It forced me to dream about what I wanted for once. After years of sacrificing my own needs for others, this is a hard habit to break.  This took practice but the more I did, the easier it became. How did I want to live- really live- if I had only 20 summers left of this planet? Not stressed out about work, that is for sure. Not sitting alone in my apartment with my cats until I fell asleep in front of the tv. What a WASTE.

This question broke me open in a most spectacular way. I was terrified but deep inside I know I was not destined to live an ordinary life. And neither are you. 

When Kris called and told me about her conversation with Eric, I listened quietly. I wasn’t in a great place at the time. Our Mom had passed, and I had been her caregiver, an experience filled with every emotion you can imagine. I was depressed and depleted. I heard her words almost from a detached viewpoint. She was going to make her life better; I was just going to watch. But then she said “Re, we have 20 good summers left, what are we going to do with them??!!” I slowly started to realize that I could join her on this and maybe I could do better, be better. Kris is right, the first step is to change your thinking. This is not an easy task, but I started asking myself questions. Instead of feeling like I don’t exist in this world, what can I do to show up? What can I do to make a difference? I started forcing myself out of my comfort zone, met with a therapist, got on an antidepressant and Kris is right, it’s not time to pack it in, it’s time to start LIVING! I’m planning my next 20 years, what are you going to do with yours?